alone

Do you see me?
No, you cannot do that. Nobody can see me. Nobody. Nobody white which and who I am real, because nobody creates it which I to crack. I have it hidden behind Tarn-Ich. Behind a covering those that is, which all believe to know. But in reality it is a deceit picture. I know that, but nobody otherwise. That has something calming down. It does not come me anything too near and I protects itself above all.Sometimes I wish would nevertheless see myself it me someone thereby I the stones get loosely or her no longer so with difficulty to weigh. Perhaps Tarn-Ich is better sometimes to live than the normal I.But one naturally thus cannot know that. I would have to approximate… carefully the camouflage covering air. That should be able to be furnished. The problem is not only, I can anybody in-lets to something, which I do not know.
I cannot see myself also, can say not even surely whether behind Tarn-Ich at all some more stand. No completely clearly, there stands somewhat, but it is empty. It is right at the bottom and I it never really filled. My real I is an emptiness, which mourning all this up-swallowed, my grief hangs… my true „I “over the Kloschüssel and the soul from the body kotzt itself over to show that it is still there and it is crushed. Crushed of the society-suited covering which one can do heart-own. Those immaculately is understandable and for everyone.
I believe I am both part of the covering and part underlying something.
But the covering is rather strong. Sometimes if I consider which me everything during the day happened place I firmly the fact that I so blunted then abgebrüht is that the things really do not affect me any longer. I find somewhat sad, or badly or I am not not well with the thought however it express myself. I have no more feelings thereby - not really. I cannot remember in the last 2 years once to have cried from a feeling which I had. Simply not there that is. In me are an enormous dammed up lake with mixed feelings and the dam keep felsenfest. Which happened if it breaks, I do not know. So long it does not hold can I work and… well, the remainder makes I eh. I do not leave, I come no longer to it into the cinema to go. I do actually eh nothing more except work, eat and sleep and me to present only if it is urgently necessary.
Which in me is so empty, that is neutrally. Neutrally opposite everything. Therefore it is not filled out an anything, not understandably for me.
No day is what it is real. If I write here, then I am camouflaged. Naturally everything has always two sides, but the one is overful, the other one is empty. Can be??
And if, where I find me? Where am I real if not in me?You cannot find anywhere a at home, if you did not find it in you.